2006-04-29

words and thoughts .ajumble.

What do you write about when you feel like you dont have any thoughts? Ever happened to you? You feel like you dont think about anything important enough to write down yet all day you are thinking. Obviously, reaching the conclusion that you have nothing to write about by ultimately browsing everything you couldnt write about. I personally could not have indexed through everything I have ever thought about or havent. Nor have I meshed them together in sequences that would in turn seem appealing to someone bored enough to read them. How does one get bored?
Especially, when one thinks and can never run out of thoughts. Unless, thinking bores you. In that case, Im very sorry for you. Thoughts shape everything you see, do and know. Thoughts can impact your own life upon changing them. Although on the same token others peoples thoughts on you and your likeness should have no bearing. Respectively, others thoughts can impact positively greatly when one is feeling down or confusion in their own thinking. I wish I could write all of my thoughts down in a day. Maybe have them directly downloading to a hub somewhere where I could browse them at a later date. Maybe then I could look at myself from an absolute angle. There are no absolutes. I dont believe so anyways. Everything is constantly changing, including thoughts. Maybe Im saying I would like to watch my own change process as it unfolds. Im not going to write a thesis because frankly it would be wrong due to the facts I feel are true as noted above. What is truth? It must be relative to what one believes to be true. Ultimate truth. Now that is something worth exploring. Again, what is that? Something that can be argued on every point that is argued until finally the questions stop and the inquirer is left pondering what theyve done wrong all these years? What is life? The search for ultimate truth? What would be the point in that when by the time you figure it out you are dead? What happens when you die? Do you carry on somewhere else using these tools youve learned in your ultimate search? What do you do there? I cant shake this feeling that we are all floating on aimlessly using religion and what not as a crutch to keep us sane. Lets face it. Could our meager minds fathom something as impacting as complete and utter nothing? Even nothing must be something. No. Nothing as in . Nothing. I suppose it would be like sleep without the dreams. Without the breathing, Without the anticipation of waking, Without. Death would be without. My issue isnt death. Its losing everything that is here with me. Love, laughter, tears, funny hairdos and shoes, the stupid things people say, the brilliant things people say, the search for whats going to happen to me after I die because I am enjoying these things immensely. I have no idea what death is. I think I am going to explore it when I get there because right now Im busy exploring life. Ive met so many blistering crazy people. People with thoughts and I wonder whats going to happen to them in their lives. Where they will go, will they think of me in passing the same way I think of them in passing. Wondering what Im doing. I always wonder if I have inspired anyone. Maybe someone inspirational wouldnt think like that but I cant help it. I think it of others. I cant be the only one. Strange. Anyways, this took me 5 minutes and was worth the loss. I just felt like writing. Paper, Thanks for listening.

Katrina at 4:13 PM

2006-04-29

words and thoughts .ajumble.

What do you write about when you feel like you dont have any thoughts? Ever happened to you? You feel like you dont think about anything important enough to write down yet all day you are thinking. Obviously, reaching the conclusion that you have nothing to write about by ultimately browsing everything you couldnt write about. I personally could not have indexed through everything I have ever thought about or havent. Nor have I meshed them together in sequences that would in turn seem appealing to someone bored enough to read them. How does one get bored?
Especially, when one thinks and can never run out of thoughts. Unless, thinking bores you. In that case, Im very sorry for you. Thoughts shape everything you see, do and know. Thoughts can impact your own life upon changing them. Although on the same token others peoples thoughts on you and your likeness should have no bearing. Respectively, others thoughts can impact positively greatly when one is feeling down or confusion in their own thinking. I wish I could write all of my thoughts down in a day. Maybe have them directly downloading to a hub somewhere where I could browse them at a later date. Maybe then I could look at myself from an absolute angle. There are no absolutes. I dont believe so anyways. Everything is constantly changing, including thoughts. Maybe Im saying I would like to watch my own change process as it unfolds. Im not going to write a thesis because frankly it would be wrong due to the facts I feel are true as noted above. What is truth? It must be relative to what one believes to be true. Ultimate truth. Now that is something worth exploring. Again, what is that? Something that can be argued on every point that is argued until finally the questions stop and the inquirer is left pondering what theyve done wrong all these years? What is life? The search for ultimate truth? What would be the point in that when by the time you figure it out you are dead? What happens when you die? Do you carry on somewhere else using these tools youve learned in your ultimate search? What do you do there? I cant shake this feeling that we are all floating on aimlessly using religion and what not as a crutch to keep us sane. Lets face it. Could our meager minds fathom something as impacting as complete and utter nothing? Even nothing must be something. No. Nothing as in . Nothing. I suppose it would be like sleep without the dreams. Without the breathing, Without the anticipation of waking, Without. Death would be without. My issue isnt death. Its losing everything that is here with me. Love, laughter, tears, funny hairdos and shoes, the stupid things people say, the brilliant things people say, the search for whats going to happen to me after I die because I am enjoying these things immensely. I have no idea what death is. I think I am going to explore it when I get there because right now Im busy exploring life. Ive met so many blistering crazy people. People with thoughts and I wonder whats going to happen to them in their lives. Where they will go, will they think of me in passing the same way I think of them in passing. Wondering what Im doing. I always wonder if I have inspired anyone. Maybe someone inspirational wouldnt think like that but I cant help it. I think it of others. I cant be the only one. Strange. Anyways, this took me 5 minutes and was worth the loss. I just felt like writing. Paper, Thanks for listening.

Katrina at 4:13 PM