2007-01-19

woke up way to early.

I think when I hear people talk in a systematic tone all I hear is a buzz. It's annoying but sometimes I hear tones I like. Only when an emotion is conveyed though. I don't really hear the negative most of the time. Sometimes I am the negative though, or I humbly assume I am negative at times (I am not wrong in my assumptions). Can't be misguiding here. I let negative and selfish emotions get the best of me but I will boast when I say I hear about these things more often then I project them. Or maybe thats not true....(no lingering, moving on) The reason why I am not sure is because sometimes I feel I can't see inside the box. In the sense that I can sit with a friend and I can feel their energy and know if its positive or negative or sometimes from a look I can know exactly what that person is feeling or thinking (this is a fact, at least for my close friends but I think that comes naturally through connection). When I walk into a room full of people I am normally drawn to the person with the highest vibrations. I wiggle my way over and say hi but I cannot feel my own energy. I wonder if I can do something about that. To feel myself for exactly what I am exuding. Feel myself outside of myself. I don't mean to look at my practical situations in life from an outside perspective. I think that just happens as well, its the same as guessing to me though. It makes it easier to realize exactly what you may be portraying at that moment. I don't mean anything practical though. Im sure what Im talking about may not even be possible. Sum it up. I want to walk into a room and know how other people feel when that happens. Not in a 'OMG, its that loser trine' way. I don't care what they think. In that, are they drawn to that energy? (faceless, nameless, thoughtless, everything-less). Also, in meeting people who clearly reside on different wavelengths is it possible to find common ground with everyone? I have met some people that are so robotic. it's almost impossible to communicate with someone I can't feel with. About any issue. If we feel the same about toilet paper at least we could make jokes about it and go on from there but some people are just somewhere completely different from where I am, or vice versa. It's not a bad thing its just curious. So, I wonder how we relay energies with only certain people and less from other people. If I have high vibrations am I attracted to low vibrations, high or the same? I am just confused on how this works. Everything is energy. Energy in and energy out.
When I receive your energy it must leave somehow through an outlet and it must be different when it leaves. So if I obtain some good energy and I want to store it I must release my energy in its place. it doesnt go away and it doesnt disappear it just moves. I wonder if its like 6 degrees of energy where someone I played with in grade school passed it on and so on and so on and now someone in iran is cooking dinner with my recycled energy.....( does this make any sense?). I just want to know if I exude good energy. I just want to make people smile and I want to be a brick wall for others negativity and I want to relay positivity back. I just want to be a big smiling wall. unimpressionable and undistracted. I think I am better with that for strangers than people. Sometimes I think it would be cool to buy some good shoes and walk around connecting with people I'll never see again. Stop when Im tired and go to sleep. This came out as diarhea and I know it. I ramble.

Another thing I wonder if feeling gets old. I've talked about having to feel things instead of looking at things logically (obviously my naive opinion). When you overplay a video game or listen to a song to many times. I am worried that because I live to feel I may end up numb and cynical. I don't want to become cynical. Maybe I'll start thinking rationally more. Then I won't bury myself in things only I seem to understand. Mind you its a good way to root out bad energy. This is how my brain works..I'll show you... If I live to feel then I do not need to know it, I feel it. When I don't need to know I dont guess, when I don't guess I don't project and if I dont project I live in the moment, when I live in the moment I can accept and understand everything that is apparently reality for exactly its face value and I can feel content with that. If I do not it opens a big door in my soul that guesses forget to close and incomes the negativity. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. scary. Stick to logic? no. logic doesn't make any sense to me. sorry. ( i don't make sense as is)

'he who studies books will know how men should be and he who studies men will know how things are' - colton

make haste slowly today.
and try not to let anyone steal your sunshine...i mean if thats what you like.

Katrina at 5:13 AM

2007-01-19

woke up way to early.

I think when I hear people talk in a systematic tone all I hear is a buzz. It's annoying but sometimes I hear tones I like. Only when an emotion is conveyed though. I don't really hear the negative most of the time. Sometimes I am the negative though, or I humbly assume I am negative at times (I am not wrong in my assumptions). Can't be misguiding here. I let negative and selfish emotions get the best of me but I will boast when I say I hear about these things more often then I project them. Or maybe thats not true....(no lingering, moving on) The reason why I am not sure is because sometimes I feel I can't see inside the box. In the sense that I can sit with a friend and I can feel their energy and know if its positive or negative or sometimes from a look I can know exactly what that person is feeling or thinking (this is a fact, at least for my close friends but I think that comes naturally through connection). When I walk into a room full of people I am normally drawn to the person with the highest vibrations. I wiggle my way over and say hi but I cannot feel my own energy. I wonder if I can do something about that. To feel myself for exactly what I am exuding. Feel myself outside of myself. I don't mean to look at my practical situations in life from an outside perspective. I think that just happens as well, its the same as guessing to me though. It makes it easier to realize exactly what you may be portraying at that moment. I don't mean anything practical though. Im sure what Im talking about may not even be possible. Sum it up. I want to walk into a room and know how other people feel when that happens. Not in a 'OMG, its that loser trine' way. I don't care what they think. In that, are they drawn to that energy? (faceless, nameless, thoughtless, everything-less). Also, in meeting people who clearly reside on different wavelengths is it possible to find common ground with everyone? I have met some people that are so robotic. it's almost impossible to communicate with someone I can't feel with. About any issue. If we feel the same about toilet paper at least we could make jokes about it and go on from there but some people are just somewhere completely different from where I am, or vice versa. It's not a bad thing its just curious. So, I wonder how we relay energies with only certain people and less from other people. If I have high vibrations am I attracted to low vibrations, high or the same? I am just confused on how this works. Everything is energy. Energy in and energy out.
When I receive your energy it must leave somehow through an outlet and it must be different when it leaves. So if I obtain some good energy and I want to store it I must release my energy in its place. it doesnt go away and it doesnt disappear it just moves. I wonder if its like 6 degrees of energy where someone I played with in grade school passed it on and so on and so on and now someone in iran is cooking dinner with my recycled energy.....( does this make any sense?). I just want to know if I exude good energy. I just want to make people smile and I want to be a brick wall for others negativity and I want to relay positivity back. I just want to be a big smiling wall. unimpressionable and undistracted. I think I am better with that for strangers than people. Sometimes I think it would be cool to buy some good shoes and walk around connecting with people I'll never see again. Stop when Im tired and go to sleep. This came out as diarhea and I know it. I ramble.

Another thing I wonder if feeling gets old. I've talked about having to feel things instead of looking at things logically (obviously my naive opinion). When you overplay a video game or listen to a song to many times. I am worried that because I live to feel I may end up numb and cynical. I don't want to become cynical. Maybe I'll start thinking rationally more. Then I won't bury myself in things only I seem to understand. Mind you its a good way to root out bad energy. This is how my brain works..I'll show you... If I live to feel then I do not need to know it, I feel it. When I don't need to know I dont guess, when I don't guess I don't project and if I dont project I live in the moment, when I live in the moment I can accept and understand everything that is apparently reality for exactly its face value and I can feel content with that. If I do not it opens a big door in my soul that guesses forget to close and incomes the negativity. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. scary. Stick to logic? no. logic doesn't make any sense to me. sorry. ( i don't make sense as is)

'he who studies books will know how men should be and he who studies men will know how things are' - colton

make haste slowly today.
and try not to let anyone steal your sunshine...i mean if thats what you like.

Katrina at 5:13 AM