In this picture. Pretend there is a mirror I would be looking at...If I wasnt in fact looking away.

Notice the lack of hue. How I am lacking saturation. I look somewhat happy but only because I am looking off of my balcony as if translucent words are appearing that spell out

'LET ME HELP YOU'.

Only no one can help me. This is my issue.

I'd like to leave this blank. I feel it would be symbolic of my mind. I swear I am forgetting my life. Literally. My humour is becoming cheesy. My Intelligence seems to be lacking. I have no direction, motivation and im clearly in hibernation.
Here goes nothing, here comes the emotional junk (that is a warning). Again literally.

I am officially my toughest critic. What could possibly drive me to get out of bed each morning. I am a person that embraces beauty. I love to laugh. I'd say I am pretty damn chipper almost always. Not as a facade. Genuine. I do things because I want to. So, now I sit here comtemplating my whole existence. Clearly, I have no one to blame but myself for anything I could possibly have to bitch or whine or cry about at this point. This is what I do. I bitch and whine and cry to myself. Then I write a few (thousand) poems and in that...in that moment...I see how selfish I am becoming. Only a selfish person would be happy on the outside and dying on the inside. Starving (literally) artists become self centered. I only say this because I have nothing to cry about besides my own mistakes. Instead of changing things I am wallowing in how miserable I have become. Yet, boasting about other things of meaningless worth that I have accomplished.

My last tarot reading had a reversed tower in it and beside it the hermit. so. I am feeling the honesty of those cards as of the past month. jupiter is in my planet. I should be utilizing these astronomical volunteers. So this morning. As I blog to you my faithful listeners (myself, selfish, once again).
I am vowing to make a change. Some options have become available to me and I spend most of my time doing nothing. Its time to buck up or fuck up. Time to get out there and use these thoughts and words in my head to join forces with others. Help others. Help myself (selfish again).

In this picture. Pretend there is a mirror I would be looking at...If I wasnt in fact looking away.

Notice the lack of hue. How I am lacking saturation. I look somewhat happy but only because I am looking off of my balcony as if translucent words are appearing that spell out

'LET ME HELP YOU'.

Only no one can help me. This is my issue.

I'd like to leave this blank. I feel it would be symbolic of my mind. I swear I am forgetting my life. Literally. My humour is becoming cheesy. My Intelligence seems to be lacking. I have no direction, motivation and im clearly in hibernation.
Here goes nothing, here comes the emotional junk (that is a warning). Again literally.

I am officially my toughest critic. What could possibly drive me to get out of bed each morning. I am a person that embraces beauty. I love to laugh. I'd say I am pretty damn chipper almost always. Not as a facade. Genuine. I do things because I want to. So, now I sit here comtemplating my whole existence. Clearly, I have no one to blame but myself for anything I could possibly have to bitch or whine or cry about at this point. This is what I do. I bitch and whine and cry to myself. Then I write a few (thousand) poems and in that...in that moment...I see how selfish I am becoming. Only a selfish person would be happy on the outside and dying on the inside. Starving (literally) artists become self centered. I only say this because I have nothing to cry about besides my own mistakes. Instead of changing things I am wallowing in how miserable I have become. Yet, boasting about other things of meaningless worth that I have accomplished.

My last tarot reading had a reversed tower in it and beside it the hermit. so. I am feeling the honesty of those cards as of the past month. jupiter is in my planet. I should be utilizing these astronomical volunteers. So this morning. As I blog to you my faithful listeners (myself, selfish, once again).
I am vowing to make a change. Some options have become available to me and I spend most of my time doing nothing. Its time to buck up or fuck up. Time to get out there and use these thoughts and words in my head to join forces with others. Help others. Help myself (selfish again).