2006-12-30

no conclusion.

I am 2 cream, 1 sweetener. She is a mocha latte. He though, he is a double expresso and a caramel macchiato on top of that. That one is just a lemon biscuit. No caffeine. No drink. Maybe a slurp from the fountain but otherwise, just biscuit. Then theres that girl, she is straight caffeine pills and a dark blend of some sort. We don't really know her. She's kind of the one that sits in the corner listening to ambience and moonlight sonata over and over. I am just a 2 cream, 1 sweetener. I used to take sugar. Do you know what sugar does? It makes you want the bitter of the coffee back. What sweetener does is leaves the coffee tasting like coffee but with the taste of sugar without the sweet syrup like flavour you get from real sugar. Too much sugar makes you forget why you liked the coffee in the first place. Why did you like the coffee in the first place? Now, once you get used to your coffee do you switch? Like i did? I switched to sweetener. I hear it causes cancer. I also bought vitamins with a whole shitload of beta carotene inside. I was then told high amounts of beta carotene in a smoker, over time, causes lung cancer. In lab rats eh? If I was a lab rat. I would give that scientist the finger. Not because i think its bullshit, but because I don't see the point.I hope I don't see my death coming. I don't want to wait for it. Which makes me wonder if I am waiting for it now. I can see it coming. I mean I know its there waiting for me somewhere. There is just no ETA. This, I am alright with. Getting diagnosed with something and hearing 'you have xxxxxxxx amount of time to live. That would not be the most enjoyable thing. I don't think I could do anything different though. People ask 'If you knew you only had so many days to live, what would you do?' I think if your answer involves doing things differently from that point on...maybe, you weren't doing the things you wanted in the first place. So, when I say I wouldn't change anything, Im serious. I don't do anything now that I regret or that I would change. I am doing things exactly how I enjoy doing things. I don't pretend that death is a million miles away and that it will never find me. I don't believe that I have an eternity to finish or do things that I want to. I take it day by day. I try to live for right now. I try to be good to people. All you really have is the way you treat people. When you go to bed at night, do you think about things you wish were different? I used to but never again. That was a long time ago. I can only give you what I have, whatever is mine is yours. No holds barred. No apologies. No regrets. Just live and let live. I just guess that sometimes when you use sugar...it can be too sweet for some people. So, I try not to sugar coat things. I just try to be like sweetener without hiding the natural taste of the good stuff? Trying to keep it a little more real. Only for myself I guess though.blah. I suck.

I like the fact that I never come to a real conclusion about anything. I think it says alot about the way my mind works.

Katrina at 4:09 PM

2006-12-30

no conclusion.

I am 2 cream, 1 sweetener. She is a mocha latte. He though, he is a double expresso and a caramel macchiato on top of that. That one is just a lemon biscuit. No caffeine. No drink. Maybe a slurp from the fountain but otherwise, just biscuit. Then theres that girl, she is straight caffeine pills and a dark blend of some sort. We don't really know her. She's kind of the one that sits in the corner listening to ambience and moonlight sonata over and over. I am just a 2 cream, 1 sweetener. I used to take sugar. Do you know what sugar does? It makes you want the bitter of the coffee back. What sweetener does is leaves the coffee tasting like coffee but with the taste of sugar without the sweet syrup like flavour you get from real sugar. Too much sugar makes you forget why you liked the coffee in the first place. Why did you like the coffee in the first place? Now, once you get used to your coffee do you switch? Like i did? I switched to sweetener. I hear it causes cancer. I also bought vitamins with a whole shitload of beta carotene inside. I was then told high amounts of beta carotene in a smoker, over time, causes lung cancer. In lab rats eh? If I was a lab rat. I would give that scientist the finger. Not because i think its bullshit, but because I don't see the point.I hope I don't see my death coming. I don't want to wait for it. Which makes me wonder if I am waiting for it now. I can see it coming. I mean I know its there waiting for me somewhere. There is just no ETA. This, I am alright with. Getting diagnosed with something and hearing 'you have xxxxxxxx amount of time to live. That would not be the most enjoyable thing. I don't think I could do anything different though. People ask 'If you knew you only had so many days to live, what would you do?' I think if your answer involves doing things differently from that point on...maybe, you weren't doing the things you wanted in the first place. So, when I say I wouldn't change anything, Im serious. I don't do anything now that I regret or that I would change. I am doing things exactly how I enjoy doing things. I don't pretend that death is a million miles away and that it will never find me. I don't believe that I have an eternity to finish or do things that I want to. I take it day by day. I try to live for right now. I try to be good to people. All you really have is the way you treat people. When you go to bed at night, do you think about things you wish were different? I used to but never again. That was a long time ago. I can only give you what I have, whatever is mine is yours. No holds barred. No apologies. No regrets. Just live and let live. I just guess that sometimes when you use sugar...it can be too sweet for some people. So, I try not to sugar coat things. I just try to be like sweetener without hiding the natural taste of the good stuff? Trying to keep it a little more real. Only for myself I guess though.blah. I suck.

I like the fact that I never come to a real conclusion about anything. I think it says alot about the way my mind works.

Katrina at 4:09 PM