2007-02-25

girlfriend application.

My friend devin is looking for a girlfriend. He is funny. Eccentric. A bunch of other good things. Moving forward, I asked for an application to fill out because it's just a hilarious thing to kill time with.
So, here is the information he sent me about himself:

"So you think you might want to be my girlfriend but aren't sure what the benefits are? here is a list of (mostly) true things you can expect as my little buttercup.

1. You will be treated like a queen.
2. You will be treated like a whore.
3. I have lots of really cool friends, you will have lots of really cool friends by association.
4. Plenty of cuddles and love.
5. I will make up special little holidays just for you.
6. I deliver sexually.
7. Zap zap zap
8. This is the end of the numerical list.

If you're reading this you probably at least kind of know me, so i'm just going to write a short little blah blah about myself in no real structured way.

I was born March Seventh, Nineteen-Hundred and Eighty-Three, which makes me a pisces, i get depressed, I can read your mind, and I can taste triangles. My favourite colour is purple, I like to read, write, wear hats, cuddle, play with animals, play with people, splash in puddles, taste the rain, dance in the rain, fall asleep in the sun, and bake. Sometimes I wear underwear but not often, I just don't like it. I am very excited and waiting anxiously for the end of the world. I love black holes, I dream of black holes. I listen to so much music that telling you what kind of music I like would be a waste of everyone's time and I don't even know what I'd say. I'm eating french toast, I'm not french though. I'm done typing this now."

Ok, so whats not to love right? So here is the application along with my input to those:

Girlfriend Application Form
(fill this out and send it back to me)

Please send a picture along with this, applications without photos will be disregarded.

Full Name: Katrina Lynn Cooper
Date of Birth: Oct/26/84
Astrological Sign: Scorpio
Age: 22
Blood Type: RH -
Measurements: HOT!!!

What do you think are your qualifications as a girl to be my friend?
Well, I like to think of myself as a lover. This means you can love too because it will make me horny. This works in your favour because I'll never tie you down I just want the details because they might make me horny...Also, I am horny. I haven't thought of black holes like you have but I like holes in general. I'm horny. I like to talk about weird stuff. I like to ask questions that will invade your personal space. Im looking for someone who doesn't want any personal space. Only when it comes to talking though. It's ok you can poop without me watching. If you want me to watch you poop I will. Are these qualifications?

Will you cook for me? What will you cook for me?
I can bake. Pretty well too. I could make you some apple torte with caramel and pecans. I dont like to eat much meat so maybe I could make you some soy bologna, alfalfa sprout, cucumber and mayo sandwiches. dessert is always sweet ;)

It's the end of the world as we know it, how do you feel?
My world ended a long time ago. When I realized it was a paradox. I'm ok with it as long as we can hold hands when we escape into a black hole together.

Tell me about yourself in 100 words or less, or more, basically as many words as you want to use.
I am a red head. I have big boobies. I like to play. I like to hang out with kids cause they show me cool things that I didnt know before. not those kinds of things...I once made out with a girl in a bathroom stall and she ripped my bra. I always see the same old man downtown and now from time to time we have coffee. I talk to everyone. Even people that I think might mame me. I have never been murdered or raped. I don't get vaccinations. especially when they are free. I sometimes see sparkly things floating around. I am trying to disassocite myself with my surroundings and trying to become more in tune with the universe. I can make things happen. I'll show you one day.

Write something sexy that turns me on. Or something absolutely disgusting. Follow your heart.
I am gonna rip your intestines out of your urethra and then fuck the whole 30 foot mess.
eye <3 U!!!

I'm not too into writing this anymore, use as much space as you want under this to make yourself sound awesome and convince me to pick you.

Im awesome. you can pick your nose and you can pick your lovers and in this case you could pick your lovers nose....wouldn't that be the best?

Katrina at 7:07 AM

2007-02-25

girlfriend application.

My friend devin is looking for a girlfriend. He is funny. Eccentric. A bunch of other good things. Moving forward, I asked for an application to fill out because it's just a hilarious thing to kill time with.
So, here is the information he sent me about himself:

"So you think you might want to be my girlfriend but aren't sure what the benefits are? here is a list of (mostly) true things you can expect as my little buttercup.

1. You will be treated like a queen.
2. You will be treated like a whore.
3. I have lots of really cool friends, you will have lots of really cool friends by association.
4. Plenty of cuddles and love.
5. I will make up special little holidays just for you.
6. I deliver sexually.
7. Zap zap zap
8. This is the end of the numerical list.

If you're reading this you probably at least kind of know me, so i'm just going to write a short little blah blah about myself in no real structured way.

I was born March Seventh, Nineteen-Hundred and Eighty-Three, which makes me a pisces, i get depressed, I can read your mind, and I can taste triangles. My favourite colour is purple, I like to read, write, wear hats, cuddle, play with animals, play with people, splash in puddles, taste the rain, dance in the rain, fall asleep in the sun, and bake. Sometimes I wear underwear but not often, I just don't like it. I am very excited and waiting anxiously for the end of the world. I love black holes, I dream of black holes. I listen to so much music that telling you what kind of music I like would be a waste of everyone's time and I don't even know what I'd say. I'm eating french toast, I'm not french though. I'm done typing this now."

Ok, so whats not to love right? So here is the application along with my input to those:

Girlfriend Application Form
(fill this out and send it back to me)

Please send a picture along with this, applications without photos will be disregarded.

Full Name: Katrina Lynn Cooper
Date of Birth: Oct/26/84
Astrological Sign: Scorpio
Age: 22
Blood Type: RH -
Measurements: HOT!!!

What do you think are your qualifications as a girl to be my friend?
Well, I like to think of myself as a lover. This means you can love too because it will make me horny. This works in your favour because I'll never tie you down I just want the details because they might make me horny...Also, I am horny. I haven't thought of black holes like you have but I like holes in general. I'm horny. I like to talk about weird stuff. I like to ask questions that will invade your personal space. Im looking for someone who doesn't want any personal space. Only when it comes to talking though. It's ok you can poop without me watching. If you want me to watch you poop I will. Are these qualifications?

Will you cook for me? What will you cook for me?
I can bake. Pretty well too. I could make you some apple torte with caramel and pecans. I dont like to eat much meat so maybe I could make you some soy bologna, alfalfa sprout, cucumber and mayo sandwiches. dessert is always sweet ;)

It's the end of the world as we know it, how do you feel?
My world ended a long time ago. When I realized it was a paradox. I'm ok with it as long as we can hold hands when we escape into a black hole together.

Tell me about yourself in 100 words or less, or more, basically as many words as you want to use.
I am a red head. I have big boobies. I like to play. I like to hang out with kids cause they show me cool things that I didnt know before. not those kinds of things...I once made out with a girl in a bathroom stall and she ripped my bra. I always see the same old man downtown and now from time to time we have coffee. I talk to everyone. Even people that I think might mame me. I have never been murdered or raped. I don't get vaccinations. especially when they are free. I sometimes see sparkly things floating around. I am trying to disassocite myself with my surroundings and trying to become more in tune with the universe. I can make things happen. I'll show you one day.

Write something sexy that turns me on. Or something absolutely disgusting. Follow your heart.
I am gonna rip your intestines out of your urethra and then fuck the whole 30 foot mess.
eye <3 U!!!

I'm not too into writing this anymore, use as much space as you want under this to make yourself sound awesome and convince me to pick you.

Im awesome. you can pick your nose and you can pick your lovers and in this case you could pick your lovers nose....wouldn't that be the best?

Katrina at 7:07 AM