2006-09-15

This is probably a blog for kate or someone of that kind.

DEAR DIARY:

Today I started my period. My mom showed me how to use a sanitary napkin. It was embarassing. At recess today kellen (my crush) was whispering to tommy scriver. I think he was talking about me. I wonder if he'll ask me out...
I'm sorry I forgot it was 2006 not 1994 anymore. A girl can dream can't she?

A quote from Childhood and Adolescence by someone who I forget (although I'm staring at the book) OR someone I care not to mention. Followed by my silly rant that probably won't make sense but things are ticking and I'm a bit stoned and I think it could go somewhere. I also think it's the weed talking. So, if it makes no sense smack me with some heat next time you talk to me.
"The birth cry marks the baby's first breath and serves as a boundary between his former waterborne, parasitic existence and his status as an air-breathing, separate organism. He is still attached to his mother by his umbilical cord, but this has ceased functioning as a life line and will shortly be clamped off and severed - a painless operation. "

WHOA! AMAZING! (sorry)
ok
so
I used to volunteer at chilreach until I thought I had learned some things from the kids and decided the next part in my learning at that point was to talk with some old people. I ended up talking with beautiful old people (you may call them crazy,schizo, bi polar, suicidal, Autistic, manic, dis-associated, delusional, disordered, retarded, fucked up whatever. They are the only people I know that actually and literally speak their minds. )
So, Now I decided to study some childhood issues again but I won't be finished with the wise ones anytime soon. Anyways, I am reading this book I found, it's old and silly to read but I thought about something when I read that paragraph.
I don't like the fact that they kept it so coldly fundamental but I guess thats how it goes. I kind of appreciate it in this instance because it kind of put something into a simple perspective.

Simplicity is fantastic. People can absorb more when you can say it with less words. Words just waste time.

As it says, birth is a process leading from 'parasite' to 'separate organism'. So is birth even birth at all. or is it death and then birth. or is it rebirth?

birth (bûrth) n.
The emergence and separation of offspring from the body of the mother.
The act or process of bearing young; parturition: the mare's second birth.
The circumstances or conditions relating to this event, as its time or location: an incident that took place before my birth; a Bostonian by birth.
The set of characteristics or circumstances received from one's ancestors; inheritance: strong-willed by birth; acquired their wealth through birth.
Origin; extraction: of Swedish birth; of humble birth.
Noble or high status: persons of birth.
A beginning or commencement.

oh no, Ive gone crosseyed and the word birth has lost meaning.

Now, call me crazy but in there it says nothing about birth being a transition from one form of life into another. Yes, from one place to another (in body to out of body). Parasite and organism. I could be very wrong. I could be crappy in explaining my points. A parasite is a organism living off a host neither killing or helping it and an organism is a living thing. Kind of similar in the fact that they are organisms but still different things. They are different things in a matter of seconds, from a science point of view. So, it can't be birth in the way this book explains because it talks of transition. So, rebirth? If it's rebirth then it must have happened before and when was the first time, conception? but the egg and sperm are two separate things and if a parasite to separate organism is birth than egg and sperm union must be birth. and if birth is the transition from something else then obviously the egg had a birth and the sperm had a birth....you see where im going.
so if its continuous rebirth or beginning, then the end of the transient must have had to of passed each time and that would be death. So, life must be a transient stage before the death and rebirth of life in another form? Always more each time (or less and smaller depending on how you look at it) So death is just the transient stage into life and life is just transience into death but life and death are different everytime. I mean living in a womb for 9 months is a pretty different world I would assume, I can do that because I've been there I just don't remember. Not to mention, It's full of growth and change...kind of reminds me of now.
So, maybe I shouldn't be putting it all into parts. Maybe it is actually the complete opposite and it is all the same and just runs its course infinitely. That maybe these things aren't constant rebirths and deaths but constant change and evolution. Which would fit nicely with the chaos theory in a way. It's all coming back to cycles lately though. Everything is cycling and spinning and moving down the spiral. Everything comes from nothing but something and all the ends are just beginnings.
I sound like a fool. This I am aware of. It was just a thought people please don't stone me. They are all I have.
I'll end this now but its just the beginning.

Im going to have a bazaar for maybe a rehab institution or something and call it 'Katrinkets thrifty treasures'. Ok, that might not happen but it would be cool if I made it happen.

My best friend from public school told me that I told her in the 90's that my favorite song was karma police by radiohead. The problem with losing or drifting from old good friends is that you lose the memories only they can remind you of. This makes your life seem shorter. Try to remember more by doing things out of the ordinary. Like calling an old friend.

p.s
In my life, the people I've loved the most are the people I don't think I know anything about.
The things I run from are what I should stick to for at least a little longer.
I never wait for harvest.
I talk of the roads I've taken as if at times it been different but really it's all one road the landscape just changes.
If you leave the house good things always happen.

p.p.s
Bittersweet symphony reminds me of winter and sitting on a bus. It gives me a feeling of anxiety when I hear it. As if I need to be somewhere else. Want to go somewhere? Anywhere?

Peace.

Katrina at 12:02 AM

2006-09-15

This is probably a blog for kate or someone of that kind.

DEAR DIARY:

Today I started my period. My mom showed me how to use a sanitary napkin. It was embarassing. At recess today kellen (my crush) was whispering to tommy scriver. I think he was talking about me. I wonder if he'll ask me out...
I'm sorry I forgot it was 2006 not 1994 anymore. A girl can dream can't she?

A quote from Childhood and Adolescence by someone who I forget (although I'm staring at the book) OR someone I care not to mention. Followed by my silly rant that probably won't make sense but things are ticking and I'm a bit stoned and I think it could go somewhere. I also think it's the weed talking. So, if it makes no sense smack me with some heat next time you talk to me.
"The birth cry marks the baby's first breath and serves as a boundary between his former waterborne, parasitic existence and his status as an air-breathing, separate organism. He is still attached to his mother by his umbilical cord, but this has ceased functioning as a life line and will shortly be clamped off and severed - a painless operation. "

WHOA! AMAZING! (sorry)
ok
so
I used to volunteer at chilreach until I thought I had learned some things from the kids and decided the next part in my learning at that point was to talk with some old people. I ended up talking with beautiful old people (you may call them crazy,schizo, bi polar, suicidal, Autistic, manic, dis-associated, delusional, disordered, retarded, fucked up whatever. They are the only people I know that actually and literally speak their minds. )
So, Now I decided to study some childhood issues again but I won't be finished with the wise ones anytime soon. Anyways, I am reading this book I found, it's old and silly to read but I thought about something when I read that paragraph.
I don't like the fact that they kept it so coldly fundamental but I guess thats how it goes. I kind of appreciate it in this instance because it kind of put something into a simple perspective.

Simplicity is fantastic. People can absorb more when you can say it with less words. Words just waste time.

As it says, birth is a process leading from 'parasite' to 'separate organism'. So is birth even birth at all. or is it death and then birth. or is it rebirth?

birth (bûrth) n.
The emergence and separation of offspring from the body of the mother.
The act or process of bearing young; parturition: the mare's second birth.
The circumstances or conditions relating to this event, as its time or location: an incident that took place before my birth; a Bostonian by birth.
The set of characteristics or circumstances received from one's ancestors; inheritance: strong-willed by birth; acquired their wealth through birth.
Origin; extraction: of Swedish birth; of humble birth.
Noble or high status: persons of birth.
A beginning or commencement.

oh no, Ive gone crosseyed and the word birth has lost meaning.

Now, call me crazy but in there it says nothing about birth being a transition from one form of life into another. Yes, from one place to another (in body to out of body). Parasite and organism. I could be very wrong. I could be crappy in explaining my points. A parasite is a organism living off a host neither killing or helping it and an organism is a living thing. Kind of similar in the fact that they are organisms but still different things. They are different things in a matter of seconds, from a science point of view. So, it can't be birth in the way this book explains because it talks of transition. So, rebirth? If it's rebirth then it must have happened before and when was the first time, conception? but the egg and sperm are two separate things and if a parasite to separate organism is birth than egg and sperm union must be birth. and if birth is the transition from something else then obviously the egg had a birth and the sperm had a birth....you see where im going.
so if its continuous rebirth or beginning, then the end of the transient must have had to of passed each time and that would be death. So, life must be a transient stage before the death and rebirth of life in another form? Always more each time (or less and smaller depending on how you look at it) So death is just the transient stage into life and life is just transience into death but life and death are different everytime. I mean living in a womb for 9 months is a pretty different world I would assume, I can do that because I've been there I just don't remember. Not to mention, It's full of growth and change...kind of reminds me of now.
So, maybe I shouldn't be putting it all into parts. Maybe it is actually the complete opposite and it is all the same and just runs its course infinitely. That maybe these things aren't constant rebirths and deaths but constant change and evolution. Which would fit nicely with the chaos theory in a way. It's all coming back to cycles lately though. Everything is cycling and spinning and moving down the spiral. Everything comes from nothing but something and all the ends are just beginnings.
I sound like a fool. This I am aware of. It was just a thought people please don't stone me. They are all I have.
I'll end this now but its just the beginning.

Im going to have a bazaar for maybe a rehab institution or something and call it 'Katrinkets thrifty treasures'. Ok, that might not happen but it would be cool if I made it happen.

My best friend from public school told me that I told her in the 90's that my favorite song was karma police by radiohead. The problem with losing or drifting from old good friends is that you lose the memories only they can remind you of. This makes your life seem shorter. Try to remember more by doing things out of the ordinary. Like calling an old friend.

p.s
In my life, the people I've loved the most are the people I don't think I know anything about.
The things I run from are what I should stick to for at least a little longer.
I never wait for harvest.
I talk of the roads I've taken as if at times it been different but really it's all one road the landscape just changes.
If you leave the house good things always happen.

p.p.s
Bittersweet symphony reminds me of winter and sitting on a bus. It gives me a feeling of anxiety when I hear it. As if I need to be somewhere else. Want to go somewhere? Anywhere?

Peace.

Katrina at 12:02 AM